Omake!
by Da Fox
Summary: Various omake, written for various stories. Originally posted at The Fanfiction Forum.
1. Nobody Touches Benihime!

Inspired by the original post of Crimson Edge, chapter one by Fosfor

"Look Naruto," Kakashi said, trying despretly not to lose his temper, "the fact is, you can't use the sword to its full potential. Sasuke can. No matter how hard you train, _you simply can't beat a Hyuuga_." 

Naruto scowled. "**Fuck** you. Benihime is mine, and I ain't gonna hand it over to you or that ego-centric, self-centered, ass of a teammate."

Kakashi sighed. "Alright, I tried being nice. Now I'm ordering you to hand the sword over. _Now_."

Naruto growled, low and deep, in the back of his throat. "Go fuck your-" He paused, cocking his head to the side. A small, feral grin crossed his lips. "Fine." He shoved Benihime tip-first into the ground. "You want it? You got it. Have fun."

"Finally," Kakashi muttered, reaching for the sword as Naruto backed away, arms crossed over his chest. "I promise, Sasuke will take good care of -" His hand wrapped around the handle, and all hell struck.

The moment his hand touched the blade, dozens of tiny papercuts appeared on his arm, running from the hand all the way up to the shoulder. The cut over his left eye reopened, blinding him. His blood started to boil in his veins as his temperature rose.

He shrieked, his hair starting to smoke as he flew away from the sword, as if flung away by an invisible hand. He landed a dozen feet away, semi-conscious.

Naruto reached down and pulled Benihime out of the ground, shaking it to rid it of any excess dirt. Then he walked over to Kakashi's twitching form. The last thing Kakashi saw and heard before he lost consciousness was Naruto shaking his head and walking away, saying:

"Nobody touches Benihime but me. **NOBODY**."


	2. NarutoSensei

Omake for **Wrapped In Crimson**, by GenocideHeart

Naruto sighed. _Another day, another **boring** D-rank mission._

Ever since he and Kurenai had gotten married nine months back, Tsunade had kept to her word. Naruto wasn't allowed to go on any mission above a C-rank, and those only if they were kept relativly close to Konoha and didn't take more that a day or two. He understood her reasons, but...

_This **sucks**! How am I gonna get strong enough to beat Akatsuki without facing strong opponents?_

He didn't want to leave his daughters alone with their mother, without out a father, but he still needed to get stronger.

_Shit! Baa-chan won't even let me take the damn Chuunin exam! How am I gonna become Hokage without leadership experience?_

And now here he was, helping grade papers for Iruka at the academy, while Kurenai and her team were out on a mission. Lucky for him, Anko had the day off and was more than willing to take care of her nieces for the day... provided her buy her dango.

He let out a low sigh. He loved his wife and kids, no doubt about it; he would throw himself into Hell's embrace for them. Doesn't mean he didn't get frustrated, sometimes.

"Hey."

He dropped the pen he had been holding and took a look at the window. Sitting on the sill was his gorgeous wife. She had smudges of dirt on her cheeks and her uniform needed a wash badly, but she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

"Hey yourself, babe," he replied, flashing her a small smile. After the first month, he stopped using his trademarked fox-grin to hide his nervousness. "How'd the mission go?"

"Fine," Kurenai told him, stepping down into the classroom and making her way over to the desk. "Took out a couple of bandits raiding the local merchants in the area; nothing too big."

"Hmmm," was all the response she got. He could have asked for more information, but he knew she wouldn't tell him untill she was ready. He picked up his pen to start making more corrections when she pushed all the paperwork off the desk. "Hey!"

"Naruto-kun," she purred, as she sat herself down on the desk in front of him, "I've been gone for a week and **that's** the way you greet me? Me, the love of your life? I'm hurt, Naruto-kun," here she pouted, "really hurt."

He looked at her and smirked. "I'm sorry," he told her in an obviously fake apologetic tone, "_however_ can I make it up to you?"

"Well," she said, as her hands began undoing the buttons on his shirt, "I can think of a **few** things..." As she leaned forward to kiss him, she asked, "Who's got the kids?"

"Anko," he told her, as his hands began pulling her dress-straps down. "I'm supposed to pick them up in an hour."

"Ah," and here her voice had a hitch in it, as Naruto had begun to suckle, "Let's not waste time."

He pulled his mouth off her nipple long enough to reply, "Let's not," then resumed his task, even as he was undoing his belt.

Iruka strode down the Academy halls toward his classroom, carrying a package of take-out from the Ichiraku. Since Kurenai wasn't due back for another two days, he figured he would keep Naruto company till he had to pick up his daughters.

"Oh Iruka-kun!" He turned around as he heard Shizune calling him.

"Yes, Shizune-san?"

"Is Naruto-kun still here? Tsunade-sama needs to speak with him," she said as she pulled alongside him, "something to do with the upcoming Chuunin exam."

"Ah... he should still be grading papers in the classroom, I believe," he replied as they walked. "Is Hokage-sama finally going to let him take the exam?"

"I believe so," Shizune told him as they approached the classroom. "But I'm not sure. She might have him act as one of the proctors for the exam, instead."

"Great," Iruka muttered. He still had headaches whenever he remembered the bitchfest Naruto had let out the _last_ two times he wasn't allowed to enter.

As he was about to grab the door and enter, he froze. He could hear... thumping... noises from inside.

"Naruto-k-k-kun!"

"Heh - call - me - sensei!"

Iruka and Shizune exchanged embarresed glances. "They're not doing what I think they're doing... are they?" Shizune asked in a quiet whisper.

"Kami, I hope not," Iruka whispered back, tilting his head to look at the ceiling. He was glad for Naruto, really; glad that his adopted little brother/student finally had the family he always wanted. But it didn't mean Iruka wasn't jealous of the fact that Naruto was getting laid more than he was.

Shizune, in the meantime, had stepped over to the edge of the door and slid it open a crack to peek inside. "Oh MY!" she gasped.

Iruka let his head drop back down quickly. "What?!" he whispered fiercely.

Shizune turned around, her whole face a bright red as she said: "I didn't know Kurenai-san liked it _there_... or that she was so limber... on the desk no less..."

Inside Iruka's mind, Chibi-Iruka-chan (who looked alot like Naruto, only with black hair) immedeatly tried to supply him with mental images. Chibi-Iruka-kun (who looked like his adult self) promply kicked him in the head and destroyed the images. Iruka wasn't sure who he was more mad at. Then the rest of Shizune's sentace hit him: "The **DESK**?!"

Shizune only nodded.

Iruka sighed and reached up to pinch his nose, trying to avoid thinking of what was happening inside the classroom. Finally, he looked at Shizune and asked: "Want to come back to my place for dinner?"

She looked him over, smiled, took his arm and said, "Sure, why not?"

As they walked out of the Academy, Iruka had only one thought:

_I hope they have the decency to wash the desk after they get done..._


	3. Kage Bunshin Lovin'

Title by avis de rapina from the TFF.

Kage Bunshin Lovin'

Naruto kept thrusting into Naruko, sweat running over his chest and back, dripping off his fore head. Beneath him, his henge'd clone kept gasping, moaning, making the most intense face Naruto had ever seen. 'Her' nails kept scratching his back, leaving deep bloody gauges in the flesh; Naruto was both grateful and pissed that Kyuubi would heal them. Pissed, because they would be great proof to show the other guys that yes, he **was** a stud, _thankyouverymuch_.

Grateful, because he knew no-one would _ever_ believe **he** had gotten laid in _Konoha_.

Just as he was approaching his limit, his clone let out a deep, throaty moan and climaxed. The feeling of 'her' muscles contracting around his cock pushed Naruto over the edge, and with a roar, he came.

Caught in the throes of orgasm, Naruto made a near fatal error: he dispersed his clone.

The resulting rush of memories made Naruto's brain backfire; his dick twitched as it tried to unload a second load almost immediatly, causing severe pain. His nose exploded, a geyser of blood flying out. Naruto collapsed, his entire body convulsing in both pain and pleasure.

His last thought: _Man, am I glad Ero-senin ain't around..._

Unknown to Naruto, Jiraiya stood on the roof of the building next door, watching the whole thing. He couldn't help but watch as Naruto dispersed the clone too early and go into convulsions.

But he did have to hand it to the kid: that was one interesting way to masterbate!

_I may just have to use this in Icha Icha..._


End file.
